Remembering His Faithfulness

Today I was yet again reminded of God's faithfulness: 

(April 9, 2010)

 It was refreshing and renewing and so good to be back in Kenosha and Lake Geneva with my Dad. It had been too long. The last time we went I was totally overworked and wasn’t able to enjoy it. This time it was almost symbolic, and it was like I had returned home. The days of the daycare were over. The days of questioning my faith were behind me.The weather was cool and spring was evident. I returned to my favorite library and stood at the beach in the spot where a scene in the story I was writing was going to take place. I walked the streets of Lake Geneva with my camera, taking pictures of blossoms on trees, of strangers relaxing in the grass, and the sun shining off of the lake.

Dad and I walked around Woodman’s just like old times and I was reminded of the first spring that I fell in love with Wisconsin and the magicalness of the grocery store that held my precious windmill cookies and cinnamon flavored tick-tacs. Dad went back into the hotel to sleep while I drove around, took pictures, went to book stores, and enjoyed being in a world that was not my own.

I listened to the Christian radio station as I drove around town. For the first time I hear Francessa Battestelli’s “Beautiful, Beautiful “. The lyrics and the melody immediately drew me in, I applied them to my life.

 Don’t know how it is You looked at me

And saw the person that I could be

Awakening my heart

Breaking through the dark Suddenly Your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight

Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful

Mercy reaching to save me All that I need

You are so Beautiful, beautiful

After getting beautiful sunset pictures I returned to the hotel. My dad was still sleeping, so I pulled out my laptop to check my e-mail. There was one from Dan, the man that interviewed me for Phantom Ranch Bible Camp.

My heart sank, because I sort of knew what it was going to say.

They were already adequately staffed for the summer of 2010. I wouldn’t be needed. I wasn’t hired.

I felt myself slip into sadness even after such a great day. But something caught me, the lyrics to “Beautiful, Beautiful”-the last verse:

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain But even perfect days can end in rain And though it’s pouring down I see You through the clouds Shining on my face

Even though I faced immense disappointment, I knew that God was there and there was a reason that he had said no to Phantom Ranch. And after a few hours, I had peace about it. 

And most of you know what happened next. Dean hired me at Timber-lee for the summer. And although the hallow disappointment hurt for awhile it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. At timber-lee I learned what it was to be loved by God. I learned what it was like to have good friends that love you and appreciate you for you genuinely are, the good and the bad. 

I was just thinking about that today. And I was thinking about my recent disappointments...and I just know that even though things aren't great right now, I only have a part time babysitting job and I am still unsure of what to do with my life, I know that God is with me. This time is being utilized to write and to read the bible and to figure out who I am and how I can be the best person that I can be. And I am just so thankful for every thing. For everyone in my life that has helped me grown in one way or another and that God has me right where He wants me.

Life isn't about where we end up, but it's about the journey that we are in to get there.(I read that somewhere recently..Ive been reading so much lately, I dont know how to properly quote it.)  And right now I am content to be where I am. In Joy or in pain, I will remain thankful!