Nature

A Year Ago Today

I was on my way to Wisconsin Dells with my Dad.

It will never be the same.

Maggie

Ever since I was a young child I wanted a sheep dog like on the old version of "The Shaggy Dog." Always. I still do. Lately I've really wanted a dog...or any kind of pet! I know it won't happen. Dad swore off pets after Jack...he was an evil cat. But one day I WILL have a sheep dog. I was searching on Petfinder.com and found this:

 

Maggie. I WANT HER! And guess where she is? RACINE, WISCONSIN!

If only...

Grrr...why can't I be a pet person?

Every single pet I've owned has either tried to eat me, attacked me, bled all over the street, ran away, got hit by a car, or peed all over the carpet. I will have one...one day.

Glory

One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly  And one day all who deny will finally believe  One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces  And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet  So we wait for that one day come quickly  Chorus  We want to see your Glory  Every knee falls down before thee  Every tongue offers you praise  With every hand raised  Singing Glory  To you and unto you only  We'll sing Glory to Your name  One day voices that lie will all be silent  One day all that's divided will be whole again  One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag  One day love will defeat the strongest enemy  So we wait for that one day come quickly  Chorus  We know not the day or the hour  Or the moments in between  But we know the end of the story  When we'll see  Chorus That's a powerful song! I am very bored right now. I have been for three days. I figured out that going to the mall and taking yourself out to dinner is good in theory but overall, lonesome & depressing. I tried on Prom dresses. I think I may have changed my mind about going. I want to go now, kinda. We'll see. I'm going to be bored this Spring Break. It's the first time in four years I havent gone anywhere...whoa, I almost forgot to spell anywhere. I think I would like to go to Florida this year. That stinks. But I'll see Mom and Viv in June. It flies by. Senior year is flying by. It's scary. Parts of me wants to grow up and move on but another part of me wants to remain a child forever. I'm hoping I get into Mission Year. I really like what they stand for, and the things I'll be doing there. But if that's not God's will for my life, that's ok.

Drained

Sometimes it feels like the only one who truly understands me is God. That's alright, but it gets annoying sometimes. I can't take this anymore. I feel like I'm holding a 1000 pound bucket and every ten minutes someone's throwing in another 10 pounds. I am so stressed and I feel like noone cares. It's just everything. School, friends, family, everything. I can't take it.

I think this is why I like Wisconsin. I don't have to deal with people, it's just me, God, and the beautiful nature. I feel free of my burden. Maybe it is just one big dreamland, but you know what? Who cares? I bet you all have Wisconsins. Places where you get away from all the stress for a little while. Only yours probaly isn't 300 miles away.

I don't know where I'm going in this note. I'm just sick of it all and ready to be somewhere else in my life.

Meanwhile I'm just gonna focus on God. And that's it. Because I don't want to be anyone but me and I'm not going to pretend like I'm okay when I'm not.

I am not keeping my Noelle-I'm-doing-ok mask on.

Beautiful Lyrics:

When the weight of all my dreams

Is resting heavy on my head,

And the thoughtful words of help and hope

Have all been nicely said.

But Im still hurting,

Wondering if Ill ever be

The one I think I am.

I think I am.

Then you gently re-remind me

That youve made me from the first,

And the more I try to be the best

The more I get the worst.

And I realize the good in me,

Is only there because of who you are.

Who you are...

And all I ever have to be

Is what youve made me.

Any more or less would be a step

Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,

Help me always keep in mind

That I only have to do

What I can find.

And all I ever have to be

All I have to be

All I ever have to be

Is what youve made me.

Old Song I Wrote

I love you Lord

With all my heart and soul

Because You gave it all

You are my Savior

I worship you Lord

With everything I’ll give

You’re the One that let me live

You gave me life

(Chorus)

You are my God

You are my King

You gave me everything

A sacrifice for me

You have saved me

You are the lover of my soul

And I want You to know

That I can’t live a day without You

I need you Lord

I’m desperate for Your love

I’m desperate for Your touch

I can’t live a day without You

You are the One that gives me hope

You are the One that gives me peace

You are the One

And I know that You love me

...from the heart and soul of an eigth grader.

30 things I'll Never Do

I got this idea from a Creative Writing Prompt site.

1.) I won't buy a ferret. Those things are long and slightly creepy. Although there was this one ferret at the Valpo Petland that was kinda cute. I pet it's head and it kept trying to crawl up my arm. But I still wouldn't want to buy one.

2.) Become a saxaphone player. I don't know why, but the saxaphone never seemed like an attractive instrument to me.

3.) Move to Alaska. I wouldn't be able to take bitter cold all the time. I am very sick of the cold right now.

4.) Hug a polar bear. Well, unless it's fake. But hugging a polar bear doesn't sound like a very good idea even if they do look cuddly.

5.) Marry a rich old guy for his money.

6.) Watch the show Lost. It looks really confusing and uncomfortable. I watched one episode at the fitness barn and it was kinda cool. But now it's way too complicated for me. Plus I watch the kid version of it, Flight 29 Down. And it was created first!

7.) I will never love Hannah Montana.

8.) Watch soap operas. I refuse to become addicted to soap operas. They're ridiculous and not clean at all.

9.) I will never love Great America the way I once did. I have tried but 2007 was really bad. There was too much advertisements and the new manager guy is taking out Splash Water Falls and Space Shuttle America- two of the rides that I had some of my fondest childhood memories on. AND, now there are new Disney sections in the gift shops. After much research I have discovered that Disney is evil. But that's a long story. We'll talk about that later.

10.) Go skydiving. Not because I'm afraid of jumping out of a plane, because I am afraid of hitting the ground with a huge SPLAT!

11.) I will never eat sushi. The whole concept of raw fish disturbs me to the highest extent.

12.) I won't eat out of a garbage can. That's gross.

13.) I won't ever become a nurse because I'd end up barfing every day from the gruesome things that they see. I hate blood and vomit.

14.) I will never go to a phychic fair. You see, every time Dad and I went to Kenosha we'd see this Days Inn that had a phychic fair every week. We always joked about going in but I would never do that because that's messing with really scary stuff. Plus they don't have the phychic fairs either.

15.) I will never stop loving Wisconsin even if I don't get to move there one day. (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

16.) I will never drive across railroad tracks when I see that there is a train coming. Railroad tracks scary the poop out of me. Trains scare me also. Oi.

17.) I will not be in the circus. Clowns frighten me.

18.) I won't bathe in Spinach.

19.) I won't get married in a foreign country or state. I'll either get married in the state that the guy and I live in or Wisconsin. Wisconsin will always be my first choice.

20.) I won't ever get another pet bird. The last one was attacked by my cat, Fred. Poor Wendel.

21.) I won't get a credit card and spend money that I don't have. I've seen what that does to some people and I don't want to be buried in debt.

22.) I won't go to a casino when I turn 21, no matter how curious I am.

23.) When I have kids I will not take them to arcades with tickets and stuff. I used to do that all the time when I was a kid and now I wish I could have the money I wasted on all those games. I could have bought the prize I got for a dollar. Except, Deal or No Deal is really fun.

24.) I won't collect my finger nail clippings or pencil shavings in a box. That's kinda creepy.

25.) NO PDA! (If I get married.)

26.) I will never buy a gun. That's not cool.

27.) I will never rob a gas station if I'm running low on cash.

28.) I won't hire a housekeeper, even if I'm rich. I should be able to clean up after myself.

29.) I will never become a professional juggler. Mainly because I don't even know if there's such a thing.

30.) I won't get a job just for the money.

There was supposed to be 50 but I have run out of ideas. Of course, I have a bunch of serious ones but I'll do those another day.