Funk

I'm feeling a little bit like a fraud. I don't know whats wrong with me these past few days. It's like the fact that I only have a couple of close friends left is hitting me. I miss the old days. I miss feeling like a part of something. My mini church is great but I realized...I'm sharing my private thoughts with people who don't even know me and most likely will not know me because the mini church is temporary. I feel like when I talk they don't get it. I just miss the old days.

Everything's changed. I am not questioning whether Gods real or not because I know He is....I just feel something very weird with Him. I can't explain it. Like I pray and read the bible but I can't feel Him. I can't hear Him. And it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough and that I'm not good enough. Which I know is ridiculous because I know that theres nothing I can do to make him love me more.

I just don't know whats wrong with me....