Eucharisto

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Last spring and early summer was pretty dark for me. Things were piling up- family issues, friend issues, self-image problems, self-worth problems- I was griping, negative, and just unhappy. Depression was consuming me and I was afraid..I was terrified that I would do something to myself that was self-destructive. I felt so little control over it and I felt so far away from God.  

Many of you may have heard of Ann Voskamp- she wrote One Thousand Gifts- a book that without a shadow of a doubt, changed my life, changed how I view life. 

It's about living life fully right where you are.

It's about finding God in the hard, painful, things life throws at us. 

It's about giving thanks- to search for what you can thank God for.

Eucharisto-to be grateful, feel thankful, give thanks. 

God gives us so many things to be thankful for each day. 

Even in the hard times. 

After I started reading the book..something in me changed. It was slow at first, how my joy & passion for God and for life returned. 

I realized He's always been with me. Even on the days that it seemed like he had forsaken me. 

And I realized that even when I don't understand, I need to give thanks for all He has done. 

So that's what I'm gonna do. 

Search for the gifts He gives. 

And I'm going to list them. I have a list that I started last summer but I always got distracted and forgot to keep them together. So here are some of God's gifts I've found today: 

Peanut Butter and Jelly smiles.

Blooming Tulips

Kid smiles.:) 

Ben..being Ben

Hidden violets (I think those are violets)

the texture in a tree's bark

mountains of sand

 taking pictures on the beach with the best friend (even though the temperature and the insane rushing wind made it freezing)

Birds soaring overhead

Crashing waves against the rocks

Firey sunsets over Lake Michigan

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Whatever you are doing today, whatever you are going through, STOP! Stop worrying, stop and look for one of His gifts. It will bring much joy. :) 

Healing and Thankfulness

Three years ago I went to the Honor Academy after high school and it was only for five days but it was clear to me that things that were going on there were not right. Even though my dad already paid for two months of the internship, I made the hard decision with fervent prayer and the Lord showed me this verse when I was making that difficult decision.

Galatians 1:6-10

6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! 9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let them be under God’s curse!

 10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

I thank the Lord that He showed me that I was making the right decision. 

I thank the Lord that I got out safely and got home safely on that thirty hour bus ride.

And I thank Dawn and Kevin Engel for supporting me while I was there and when I decided to go home. 

And I thank all that did support my decision in leaving. 

And I thank MSNBC and the woman that started recoveringalumni.com for giving me confirmation that I made the right decision. And for helping thousands of hurting people that left Honor Academy. 

And this is probably hardest to say, I thank God for my short five day expirience at Honor Academy. It pushed me to seek the Lord more than I ever had and even though there was a lot of confusion and pain afterwards I grew so much closer to God through the expirience. I also realized through my bus ride home one of my passions in life is to help minister to homeless people. I thank God for Travis in that little bus station in Tyler, Texas. He felt blessed by me but in so many ways I was blessed by him. 

Thank you Lord, for pain & for recovery. 

Amen. 

Making the Most of Every Moment

I've been thinking alot in the past two weeks. I've been praying alot about this too and I finally feel like I can put it into words.

I am sick of living in the past. From this day forward, when I am with people, I am going to be with, people. Too many times I miss out on great moments because I am thinking about someone else or missing a time in my life, living in my old memories, or whatever I have to be sorry for myself about at the time.

I am SO sick of it.

Because who knows how much time we really have with the people we love?

Who knows what's gonna happen in the future?

Today could be my last day on earth. I don't want to leave knowing that I could have left the people that I love hurt by my own selfishness...

So, I'm really going to work on being with people, not wasting time worrying, and just showing the people I love that I love them.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It doesn't envy. It doesn't boast. It isn't proud.

It doesn't dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love doesn't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I want to really love my friends and family. I know its so much easier said than done...talking about making the most of each moment and actually doing that is really hard...Technology doesn't make it any better.

But I'm working on it.