So I've been living in Wisconsin for nearly four months now.
I can no longer sing the "I'm living in Wisconsin...but only in my
mind." song. It's so weird. I love it....it's just weird not having a
place to go to get away from it all...I guess that that is home now. Weird.
Overall, I'm happy that I've moved.
Life is good here. I live two miles away from Timber-lee
with a family that decided they trusted me enough to reside in their basement.
I work four days a week and have the weekends off. I found a church that I
really like. (Lake Land Community Church)
I have friends that are not too far from me.
It was a really hard transition at first. I don't know. I
think it might help that I'm going home next weekend until Monday. I miss Dad,
Shannah, J, and Adair sooo much but there's just nothing in that town for me
except the job at the movie theater (bleh), a bunch of painful memories, and
the horrifying chance that I will run into people that I am not prepared to
see. (And that alwaysssss happens...because it's Portage and the only things to
do are go to the movies, and walk around wal-mart...)
These last couple of months have taught me a lot about God
and about life and friends...and relationships.
-God is so amazing. I feel like I'm learning more about Him
every day. I can't really explain more than that.
-Life is funny...it's good...but it's hard. And the only
time that it's gonna stop being hard is when I'm in Heaven. I've realized here,
that there is nothing that can satisfy me. I always thought (or hoped) that
once I moved to Wisconsin things would be sooo much better. And they are but
life is still hard. My problems are still my problems there's just a change of
scenery and I'm further away from my family. Nothing will satisfy..all my hopes
and dreams for what I want to do with my life here...they don't mean a thing. I
don't know what career I might choose. And I don't think it really matters...as
long as I serve the Lord with my whole heart and live for Him...and be a
witness to people. I could die tomorrow, without filling my dreams of getting
married and having kids, and I would be fine with that.
-So after I graduated high school and all my friends left
for college I don't think I've ever felt so lonely. And soon that loneliness
became a normal thing. And I got used to it. I didn't need people. But it was
cool when I did see them. Well, I went into Camp Timber-lee not really knowing
what was going to happen but just happy that I would be getting out of my town
for the summer and in Wisconsin for three months. I realized how much I missed
having people around me. For the past two years I've always thought of myself
as such an independent. Like...I could live by myself forever and it would
matter to me...But I don't feel that way anymore. I realized how much I need
people to be there for me, to hold, to love, the laugh with, and to build me up
when I'm down. And I'm so blessed that God brought these people into my life. I
can't imagine life without them now.
-Relationships. So this summer I almost got into something
with a guy and I am so glad I didn't. I
realized what I want in a relationship and what I do not want. I'm not going to
date just to date. When I decide to date someone it's going to be because I
KNOW that he is someone that I can spend the rest of my life with forever. (
I've probably said this before...but it's different when you actually have the
option of being with someone that you like too...) But yeah... I'm just waiting
until God brings the right guy into my life...And when he does...I'll know. I
think. Until then I'm content.
But yeah...thats my thoughts on this Sunday morning. God is
good. Life is good. And now I really need to go and get ready for church. haha.
