Eucharisto

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Last spring and early summer was pretty dark for me. Things were piling up- family issues, friend issues, self-image problems, self-worth problems- I was griping, negative, and just unhappy. Depression was consuming me and I was afraid..I was terrified that I would do something to myself that was self-destructive. I felt so little control over it and I felt so far away from God.  

Many of you may have heard of Ann Voskamp- she wrote One Thousand Gifts- a book that without a shadow of a doubt, changed my life, changed how I view life. 

It's about living life fully right where you are.

It's about finding God in the hard, painful, things life throws at us. 

It's about giving thanks- to search for what you can thank God for.

Eucharisto-to be grateful, feel thankful, give thanks. 

God gives us so many things to be thankful for each day. 

Even in the hard times. 

After I started reading the book..something in me changed. It was slow at first, how my joy & passion for God and for life returned. 

I realized He's always been with me. Even on the days that it seemed like he had forsaken me. 

And I realized that even when I don't understand, I need to give thanks for all He has done. 

So that's what I'm gonna do. 

Search for the gifts He gives. 

And I'm going to list them. I have a list that I started last summer but I always got distracted and forgot to keep them together. So here are some of God's gifts I've found today: 

Peanut Butter and Jelly smiles.

Blooming Tulips

Kid smiles.:) 

Ben..being Ben

Hidden violets (I think those are violets)

the texture in a tree's bark

mountains of sand

 taking pictures on the beach with the best friend (even though the temperature and the insane rushing wind made it freezing)

Birds soaring overhead

Crashing waves against the rocks

Firey sunsets over Lake Michigan

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Whatever you are doing today, whatever you are going through, STOP! Stop worrying, stop and look for one of His gifts. It will bring much joy. :) 

Sunset Chasers

 I love the Portage beach more than any other beach  in Indiana. I've only been to it a few times and love

it more each time I go. It's hard to believe that I am in Portage. It's like a hidden treasure in fields of corn.

This is my best friend in the whole wide world, Adair. She's amazing at taking pictures and it was very nice to have her with me this time. Normally I am a lone sunset chaser. 

It's so pretty. & It's so good to see that  Portage is consciously trying to make things more beautiful. 

I love this lighthouse. 

Paparazzi! 

Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Chuck. 

All these rock must have washed up on the shore after those huge winds on Sunday. 

Airee & I decided to become official Sunset Chasers.

I love my best friend :) 

Overall, today was a good day.

Babysitting was a tad bit stressful. 

I was starving most of the day. 

But the sunset, even one of the dullest ones, was one of the most peaceful ones. 

The water was calm. 

The air was cool. 

And I was reminded of Matthew 6:26

The birds don't worry so why should I?

Child of Eden

Hello there! I am starting a new blog, I have kept xangas in the past and I've realized that I really miss blogging. So here's a little back ground on my name, childofeden777 and the title of this blog. It's the title of a song by Joy Williams and has become one of my favorites. You can listen to it: Here

And here are the lyrics:

Eden was perfection a beautiful dream
There was no pretending everything was as it seemed
But she took the lust for life delivered it to man
Caving into the lies all the hiding began

That's part, part of who I am

I'm a child of Eden I'm a child of Eden, I have been
But I won't look back it's just my past
The story doesn't end for this child of Eden
I've had Eve's eyes of jealousy and shame
And Adam's disposition to worry and to blame
But I've had days when I found more in me
Forgiveness and mercy and I was truly free

I know, I know that's who I am

I'm a child of Eden I'm a child of Eden, I have been
But I won't look back it's just my past
The story doesn't end for this child of Eden
Oh, don't let me forget where I was without You
Don't let me forget the pain that You went through
Don't let me forget that I became Yours
When You spread out Your arms for me

The last lines I shared in the bold are truly something I've been praying in these last several months. I have been in a cycle of doubting and rebellion up until this past fall. I felt so unworthy of God's love so I stopped trying. 

I don't want to forget that I was totally lost without Him. 

I don't want to forget that He paid the price to set me free. 

And I won't.

Welcome to my journey. I'll hopefully update this often. :)

P.S. I'm gonna add stuff I wrote and post it as the date that I wrote it. This website is awesome! 

Remembering His Faithfulness

Today I was yet again reminded of God's faithfulness: 

(April 9, 2010)

 It was refreshing and renewing and so good to be back in Kenosha and Lake Geneva with my Dad. It had been too long. The last time we went I was totally overworked and wasn’t able to enjoy it. This time it was almost symbolic, and it was like I had returned home. The days of the daycare were over. The days of questioning my faith were behind me.The weather was cool and spring was evident. I returned to my favorite library and stood at the beach in the spot where a scene in the story I was writing was going to take place. I walked the streets of Lake Geneva with my camera, taking pictures of blossoms on trees, of strangers relaxing in the grass, and the sun shining off of the lake.

Dad and I walked around Woodman’s just like old times and I was reminded of the first spring that I fell in love with Wisconsin and the magicalness of the grocery store that held my precious windmill cookies and cinnamon flavored tick-tacs. Dad went back into the hotel to sleep while I drove around, took pictures, went to book stores, and enjoyed being in a world that was not my own.

I listened to the Christian radio station as I drove around town. For the first time I hear Francessa Battestelli’s “Beautiful, Beautiful “. The lyrics and the melody immediately drew me in, I applied them to my life.

 Don’t know how it is You looked at me

And saw the person that I could be

Awakening my heart

Breaking through the dark Suddenly Your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight

Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful

Mercy reaching to save me All that I need

You are so Beautiful, beautiful

After getting beautiful sunset pictures I returned to the hotel. My dad was still sleeping, so I pulled out my laptop to check my e-mail. There was one from Dan, the man that interviewed me for Phantom Ranch Bible Camp.

My heart sank, because I sort of knew what it was going to say.

They were already adequately staffed for the summer of 2010. I wouldn’t be needed. I wasn’t hired.

I felt myself slip into sadness even after such a great day. But something caught me, the lyrics to “Beautiful, Beautiful”-the last verse:

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain But even perfect days can end in rain And though it’s pouring down I see You through the clouds Shining on my face

Even though I faced immense disappointment, I knew that God was there and there was a reason that he had said no to Phantom Ranch. And after a few hours, I had peace about it. 

And most of you know what happened next. Dean hired me at Timber-lee for the summer. And although the hallow disappointment hurt for awhile it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. At timber-lee I learned what it was to be loved by God. I learned what it was like to have good friends that love you and appreciate you for you genuinely are, the good and the bad. 

I was just thinking about that today. And I was thinking about my recent disappointments...and I just know that even though things aren't great right now, I only have a part time babysitting job and I am still unsure of what to do with my life, I know that God is with me. This time is being utilized to write and to read the bible and to figure out who I am and how I can be the best person that I can be. And I am just so thankful for every thing. For everyone in my life that has helped me grown in one way or another and that God has me right where He wants me.

Life isn't about where we end up, but it's about the journey that we are in to get there.(I read that somewhere recently..Ive been reading so much lately, I dont know how to properly quote it.)  And right now I am content to be where I am. In Joy or in pain, I will remain thankful!