Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Maggie
Ever since I was a young child I wanted a sheep dog like on the old version of "The Shaggy Dog." Always. I still do. Lately I've really wanted a dog...or any kind of pet! I know it won't happen. Dad swore off pets after Jack...he was an evil cat. But one day I WILL have a sheep dog. I was searching on Petfinder.com and found this:
Maggie. I WANT HER! And guess where she is? RACINE, WISCONSIN!
If only...
Grrr...why can't I be a pet person?
Every single pet I've owned has either tried to eat me, attacked me, bled all over the street, ran away, got hit by a car, or peed all over the carpet. I will have one...one day.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Glory
One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet So we wait for that one day come quickly Chorus We want to see your Glory Every knee falls down before thee Every tongue offers you praise With every hand raised Singing Glory To you and unto you only We'll sing Glory to Your name One day voices that lie will all be silent One day all that's divided will be whole again One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag One day love will defeat the strongest enemy So we wait for that one day come quickly Chorus We know not the day or the hour Or the moments in between But we know the end of the story When we'll see Chorus
That's a powerful song! I am very bored right now. I have been for three days. I figured out that going to the mall and taking yourself out to dinner is good in theory but overall, lonesome & depressing. I tried on Prom dresses. I think I may have changed my mind about going. I want to go now, kinda. We'll see.
I'm going to be bored this Spring Break. It's the first time in four years I havent gone anywhere...whoa, I almost forgot to spell anywhere. I think I would like to go to Florida this year. That stinks. But I'll see Mom and Viv in June. It flies by. Senior year is flying by. It's scary. Parts of me wants to grow up and move on but another part of me wants to remain a child forever.
I'm hoping I get into Mission Year. I really like what they stand for, and the things I'll be doing there. But if that's not God's will for my life, that's ok.
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Thursday, March 6, 2008
Drained
Sometimes it feels like the only one who truly understands
me is God. That's alright, but it gets annoying sometimes. I can't take this
anymore. I feel like I'm holding a 1000 pound bucket and every ten minutes
someone's throwing in another 10 pounds. I am so stressed and I feel like noone
cares. It's just everything. School, friends, family, everything. I can't take
it.
I think this is why I like Wisconsin. I don't have to deal
with people, it's just me, God, and the beautiful nature. I feel free of my
burden. Maybe it is just one big dreamland, but you know what? Who cares? I bet
you all have Wisconsins. Places where you get away from all the stress for a
little while. Only yours probaly isn't 300 miles away.
I don't know where I'm going in this note. I'm just sick of
it all and ready to be somewhere else in my life.
Meanwhile I'm just gonna focus on God. And that's it.
Because I don't want to be anyone but me and I'm not going to pretend like I'm
okay when I'm not.
I am not keeping my Noelle-I'm-doing-ok mask on.
Beautiful Lyrics:
When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head,
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said.
But Im still hurting,
Wondering if Ill ever be
The one I think I am.
I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That youve made me from the first,
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me,
Is only there because of who you are.
Who you are...
And all I ever have to be
Is what youve made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what youve made me.
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