Leaving the HA

So, I suppose most of you have heard about how I came left Honor Academy thursday morning.(I tagged people in this note who I knew didn't know the details...or didn't even know I had left.) I got on a bus and arrived in Hammond, IN at about 11:30 a.m. So I had a 24 hour trip home... And I can probably guess what you are thinking... "Why did Noelle leave after only 5 days of being there? She must have been homesick. Why didn't she just stick it out a little bit longer?" 

Trust me, I would wonder the same things if I were you guys...

So here's why: (in very short, non-descriptive, way because there are too many reasons as to why I left the HA. Way too many to write down here.)

1.) I did not trust what I was being taught. 
2.) There was a commitment banquet on Friday and I felt so strong in disaggreement of what I was being taught & what I would be doing for the next year. I couldn't committ myself to them. I could not promise I would stay for a whole year.
3.) For Anchors Away Students- Read the section called "What is a cult?" That's where I was.
4.) Their views on fasting was messed up. I believe fasting is an individual thing, a secret between God and an individual. But they have a requuired event where you must fast and you are not allowed to talk and by the end you are expected to have your purpose from God...something about that just rubs me the wrong way. 
5.)There was a secretive event called ESOAL, it was optional but if you chose not to do it you would have to scrub toilets or something. And noone who goes to the event is allowed to speak about it with other people. Again, something about that rubs me the wrong way.
6.) My spirit never really felt settled in the place. And I had prayed, and prayed, for a way to adjust and then I realized it was not JUST homesickness. Something about the place was not right. It just did not feel right in my heart. So I had been praying about if this place was the right place for me. I was also talking to someone about it. She was digging and digging and looking up things online about the Honor Academy. God spoke to her, and it was warning that I should not be there... I was going to leave after my money ran out but when I heard what God spoke to her, I knew I needed to leave. We both aggreed on it. 
7.) I was reading through my bible, looking for confirmation on whether or not I should leave the Honor Academy. If my suspicions were right about it, if my unsettled heart was correct. Then I prayed for God to give me a verse and I recieved this.

Galations 1:6-7 6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.

Yeah so that answer was pretty clear. (Note to Anchors Away students: this verse was also in the section about cults.) 

So that is why I left. There are about a million other reasons...I could write for hours! 

However, I did get some out of it. (No thanks to what I was taught or anything.) I feel way closer to God! I had to hold on to him for dear life! I felt him speak to me more than I have in a long time because I was in the word so much. So I guess I am just thinking that this was my five day retreat with the Lord. I had to be strong and stick up for my right to leave (I was against many manipulitive people when I made my decision to leave.) I also learned that I do need structure in my life, and I will start eating healthier no matter how hard it is considering no one is there to tell me what to eat. I also learned about myself- I am not always the passive, go with the flow girl, when I feel something is wrong I will step out and make it stop. So that was my five day retreat with God-the hardest, scariest days of my life. I will still have nightmares about that place but I will get through it...

(Note: If you have any questions...or want to know my other stories in depth please call me. The last thing I want is for people to misinterpret anything I said on here. My number is 707-2032 and my e-mail is noellecurran@yahoo.com.) 

God bless, stay strong, AND READ YOUR BIBLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! SERIOUSLY! IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE ONE DAY! 
The End. 
In Christ, 
A changed Noelle.

Two more days and I will be in Texas. I think my mind is going crazy thinking about all I have to get done before then. Today is my day with Aunt Mare. Tonight is my last service at Faith Church, and that makes me sad. Pastor Kevin -one of my favorites, is preaching and that makes me happy. (I'm so full of emotion.) Tonight is my last night with Arielle and Edmond. Arielle is going to college on Tuesday. Jakob and Korissa may come over too. And I think Marilyn's student, Rachel will be here too. She is in Master's  Commission, which is very similar to Honor Academy. So I'll talk with her more about that. 

Tomorrow is a day of tissues. I am going to drive around portage and say my farewells to my friends. I probably won't cry around people. I will cry in a strange awkward time that not only surprises me but whoever else is around me. I also have to finish putting my pictures online! I am only up to March 2007. I don't know if I'll be getting any sleep on Thursday night. I will probably end up staying up all night and fall asleep on the plane. Oh and I also still need to find my 2nd blue blazer and my 2nd dress shirt. Ugh. And I need to do laundry and finish packing. 

So I have a lot to do. And my mind doesn't seem to want to stop thinking. It's quite annoying.

But I am excited. I am excited to meet my new classmates. I am excited for structure. I am excited for a Godly atmosphere to live in. I am excited to learn and grow as a Christian, and I know I will. 

That is all.

Last week was my last trip to Wisconsin for who knows how long. That makes me sad. It was a good trip. It would have been better if my dad wasn't such a poop though. He didn't have much fun and cut the trip short so he could see his 20 year old girlfriend. The most fun I had, I had by myself.

The first day we had a super late start. We went to Great America for about an hour when I finally got sick of it. That place has changed so much and the new owner guy is at fault. It makes me mad. Great America no longer reminds me of my childhood, it reminds me of the gekko geico thing because it is EVERYWHERE there. Even on the back of Viper. Plus there is soo many people. And Vivvian and Shannah never come with us and my relationship with dad has withered. It just isnt fun anymore.

We stayed in the Ramada in Waukeagen again. I love that hotel. It does remind me of my childhood. =) I really don't know why. Probaly cause it was made in the 90's.  And the beds were comfortable.

Dad woke me up early that next morning.

Him: go back to bed. (Shines a light directly in my eyes)

Me: AAAAAAAHHHH! (I don't go back to sleep.)

We had waffles, which were tasty.

Then we went to Wisconsin! YAY WISCONSIN! We were going to go see the dancing horses in Lake Geneva but it didnt work out because of road construction...Then I walked aimlessly around lake Geneva, read my book in the library, said hello to my future house, and got really, REALLY mad at my dad.

After that we just hung out in the hotel.

More random things

Cinderella

This song came on while my dad and I were in Wisconsin. It's on my computer now...It depresses me a bit. Mainly because I don't have that kind of love from an earthly father. I wish I did. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my heavenly father.

I just wish we had a better relationship. We used to be so close...until a few months ago.

She spins and she sways

To whatever song plays

Without a care in the world

And I'm sitting here wearing

The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day

And there's still work to do

She's pulling at me

Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle

And I've been invited

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed

She wants to know if I approve of the dress

She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand

Just glowing and telling us all they had planned

She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away

But I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone