So, I suppose most of you have heard about how I came left Honor Academy thursday morning.(I tagged people in this note who I knew didn't know the details...or didn't even know I had left.) I got on a bus and arrived in Hammond, IN at about 11:30 a.m. So I had a 24 hour trip home... And I can probably guess what you are thinking... "Why did Noelle leave after only 5 days of being there? She must have been homesick. Why didn't she just stick it out a little bit longer?"
Trust me, I would wonder the same things if I were you guys...
So here's why: (in very short, non-descriptive, way because there are too many reasons as to why I left the HA. Way too many to write down here.)
1.) I did not trust what I was being taught.
2.) There was a commitment banquet on Friday and I felt so strong in disaggreement of what I was being taught & what I would be doing for the next year. I couldn't committ myself to them. I could not promise I would stay for a whole year.
3.) For Anchors Away Students- Read the section called "What is a cult?" That's where I was.
4.) Their views on fasting was messed up. I believe fasting is an individual thing, a secret between God and an individual. But they have a requuired event where you must fast and you are not allowed to talk and by the end you are expected to have your purpose from God...something about that just rubs me the wrong way.
5.)There was a secretive event called ESOAL, it was optional but if you chose not to do it you would have to scrub toilets or something. And noone who goes to the event is allowed to speak about it with other people. Again, something about that rubs me the wrong way.
6.) My spirit never really felt settled in the place. And I had prayed, and prayed, for a way to adjust and then I realized it was not JUST homesickness. Something about the place was not right. It just did not feel right in my heart. So I had been praying about if this place was the right place for me. I was also talking to someone about it. She was digging and digging and looking up things online about the Honor Academy. God spoke to her, and it was warning that I should not be there... I was going to leave after my money ran out but when I heard what God spoke to her, I knew I needed to leave. We both aggreed on it.
7.) I was reading through my bible, looking for confirmation on whether or not I should leave the Honor Academy. If my suspicions were right about it, if my unsettled heart was correct. Then I prayed for God to give me a verse and I recieved this.
Galations 1:6-7 6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.
Yeah so that answer was pretty clear. (Note to Anchors Away students: this verse was also in the section about cults.)
So that is why I left. There are about a million other reasons...I could write for hours!
However, I did get some out of it. (No thanks to what I was taught or anything.) I feel way closer to God! I had to hold on to him for dear life! I felt him speak to me more than I have in a long time because I was in the word so much. So I guess I am just thinking that this was my five day retreat with the Lord. I had to be strong and stick up for my right to leave (I was against many manipulitive people when I made my decision to leave.) I also learned that I do need structure in my life, and I will start eating healthier no matter how hard it is considering no one is there to tell me what to eat. I also learned about myself- I am not always the passive, go with the flow girl, when I feel something is wrong I will step out and make it stop. So that was my five day retreat with God-the hardest, scariest days of my life. I will still have nightmares about that place but I will get through it...
(Note: If you have any questions...or want to know my other stories in depth please call me. The last thing I want is for people to misinterpret anything I said on here. My number is 707-2032 and my e-mail is noellecurran@yahoo.com.)
God bless, stay strong, AND READ YOUR BIBLE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! SERIOUSLY! IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE ONE DAY!
The End.
In Christ,
A changed Noelle.
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