2011

This year hasn't been the best year on the surface. I've dealt with a lot of past emotions sneaking up on me. I've dealt with a lot of crappy situations. 

 

And I am in many ways still healing and dealing with the past. 

But I would never say 2011 has been a bad year. Even though some awful things have happened. I have learned so much about God by sticking to the bible reading plan that I constructed last Jan. I have had several great days with God. I never truly understood what it was like to have a relationship with God until this year. I have grown through the pain and through the questions. It was all neccasary, everything that I've been through. 

And I look forward to 2012 and the new things I have to learn and expirience. 

Thank you Lord, for the good times and the bad. You give and take away but my reward remains in You. 

Thank you Lord. 

Jeremiah 23

On Saturday, Jeremiah 23 was the next thing for me to read in my bible reading schedule. It really stuck out to me.

  

“What sorrow awaits the leaders of my people—the shepherds of my sheep—for they have destroyed and scattered the very ones they were expected to care for,” says the Lord.

 ² Therefore, this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to these shepherds: “Instead of caring for my flock and leading them to safety, you have deserted them and driven them to destruction. Now I will pour out judgment on you for the evil you have done to them. ³ But I will gather together the remnant of my flock from the countries where I have driven them. I will bring them back to their own sheepfold, and they will be fruitful and increase in number. ⁴ Then I will appoint responsible shepherds who will care for them, and they will never be afraid again. Not a single one will be lost or missing. I, the Lord have spoken!

 ⁵ “For the time is coming,”

Verses three and four really hit me.

Even though teen mania, the ones that were supposed to protect us and were supposed to help lead us to safety, they led some of us astray. But what God says is truth. I see it in the blog. I see it in the hurting people. He’s gathering the lost and the hurting up, He’s making it so we will be fruitful, so we will increase in number, and he will give us responsible shepherds. We will never be afraid again.

This is not only for people that were led astray buy abusive internships but for any Christian that was wronged and who’s faith was shaken by another’s harsh words or misguided actions. I believe that God has His hand on us, especially those who are hurting and broken. He accepts us when it seems like everyone else has rejected us. 

Seasons

Things have been going pretty good for me lately. I’m making a decent amount of money at my jobs. I’m on good terms with all of my family and all of my friends. Yet something in me decided that I needed to take a break from communicating with them. I’ve been isolating myself since Wednesday. And the silence is almost deafening.

Why did I do this you ask?

I’m not sure. I think it is in the anticipation of the hard times ahead. Cause I know things can’t be this great forever. There will be times where I won’t have anyone but God. There will be times when I will be betrayed. There will be times when I’m rejected. There will be times when my mistakes cause me to have a loss. Just like the past.

Maybe I’m just being pessimistic. 
Maybe I’m just afraid.

I guess I am afraid.

But I believe that it is a rightful fear.

I don’t want to have such a dependence on the good I have in my life right now. Because it makes me lose focus on the One that is constant, the one that does not change. 

Jesus Is Coming Soon!

In America we have so much freedom.

We have freedom to gather and worship God and have fellowship with Christians. People in other countries fight for that. They risk their lives for that fellowship. They don’t have access to God’s word like we do.

I am realizing how great I have it where I am. I am realizing how comfortable my life really is. I am realizing that my worries about the future, what I am going to do with my life, if I’ll have enough money if my car breaks down, who my friends are, who I will marry. That does not matter.

It is so easy here, to lose sight on what is important.

Even when we think we have our eyes on what’s important, we still live such selfish lives.

I don’t want to live selfishly anymore. I want to do something. I have it so good here. And we are running out of time. How much longer are we going to live our lives so selfishly?

What I do for a living isn’t important. What kind of car I drive isn’t important.

There are so many things that are not important.

But there is one thing that is important- the gospel. Jesus is coming soon. And there will come a day, whether it be my death or Jesus’s return, that I will no longer be here. No longer be able to make a difference in people's lives. No longer able to share my abundance.

I want the time that I have here on this earth to matter.