Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for
you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
So often we do what WE want in life...or what THE WORLD
wants. Why is this? Why do we rely so much on the world's standards? Why aren't
our eyes on the bigger picture? HE knows the plans for my life. I can't make it
up. Friends and family can't make it up. HE has a plan. Why do we put our trust
in psychologists and Dr. Phil and Oprah??? Why do we apply the world's
standards to our life? Why are we all obsessed with money and new things. They
are meaningless.
I don't know...I just don't understand a lot of people. I
don't get the point of a lot of things. I just know that I want to trust God
with all of my heart. I want to trust that He has a plan for my life...he has a
calling for me...and that someday all of these trials and questions will make
sense. Meanwhile I am just trying to live for Him, and get through each day. I
do trust Him. I trust that he is going get me through this trauma of all that
happened with Honor Academy and stuff...I trust that he is going to get me
through all my emotional damage from all that my parents have put me through
these past four years. I trust that He knows where he wants me. And the only
way I can fail is if I don't let God lead me...and if I don't put my life and
my decisions in His hands.
I believe that he has a plan for my life. I don't know
exactly what it is yet...but I know he knows what he's doing. And he's working
with me each day. He is my counseler...He is my father. He is my light and my
path. I am so sick of reliance on humans...and human explanations for why we
are the way we are...And I'm sick of gossip...and judgement...and everything. I
feel so different than everyone. Like I see something that nobody else sees. I
have my weird side, sure. But I feel like I see things so differently than
people in my life.
Geez, I've gone off on a rant...It's totally disorganized
but oh well.
Anyway, do you get what I'm saying? I hope you do...because
those were some scattered thoughts.
