Bad things keep happening. Bad changes keep happening. I hate it. I don't want to say I'm not happy with my life right now. I am. I am blessed with Adair, Emily, Tae, and so many others I've been privlaged to meet and build relationships with. But I still miss Jenny, and Tasha and especially Christy. We've all grown apart. There's too many differences now. And it doesn't help that a certain someone out of the three doesn't answer my phone calls OR call me back when I leave a message on her voicemail SOBBING. I need my Uma but I guess she doesn't need/want me. It really hurts.

I don't know. I hate living in the past. And thinking. I wish that just for one day I could not think constantly about what I may have done wrong or if I could do something different to make my situation different. I hate being such an analyst.