Baby Steps, Goals, and Change

Yesterday I started the day right with prayer, writing down all my thoughts before they had a chance to suffocate me, reading my bible & devotionals, and a healthy breakfast.
I took my vitamins.
I drank a ton of water.
I had healthy snacks and a healthy dinner.
I went to the beach and appreciated the sunset.
I went to the gym and worked my butt off for nearly an hour.
Up until bed time I did really good with my healthy eating.

Today was different.
I didn't have much sleep.
I didn't take my vitamins.
I drank a significantly lower amount of water.
I ate a good breakfast but it was cereal, and wasn't as filling as it should have been.
So I ate candy. And chips.
And I didn't read my devotions or my bibles.
And by the time I was done babysitting I was too tired to go out and enjoy nature or go to the gym.
So I laid in bed, had guacamole for dinner, and topped it off with a jr. bacon cheeseburger because I realized that while being regular I wouldn't be able to just eat a donut. (Plus I'd be ashamed to do so with my fellow regulars)

And now here I am, writing about how different I feel.
How much I liked yesterday more than today.
And this is my point: If you start your day right, it WILL be better.
Mostly, I think it was because I didn't have quiet time or my writing. That is what made such a difference yesterday. I want more days like yesterday. And no more days like today. I am done with this.

For such a long time my weight has been a huge burden on me. I rarely ever talk about it to people. It's very personal. I feel bad about myself, how much I have let myself go in the last six years. It keeps me from doing things that I would love to do.
My self-esteem is so low. It weighs me down in every way, not just in my self-image, but in all I do.
Last May, I remember writing about how much I wanted to lift my hands in worship at church but I felt too self-conscious to do so.



And here it is, little blog family, if you are reading.
I have goals now. Little goals to better myself.
-The healthy amount of weight for me to lose by December 22 is somewhere between 17.5 and 52.5 pounds. I want to achieve that.
-I want to cook more, and eat out way less. (It is SO convienient for me to just pick up dinner through a drive thru. I don't have a family that cooks. It's kind of a fend for yourself type thing and that can get really bad.)
-Cut out most junk food.
-Go to the gym 5 times a week.
-Take my vitamins every day
-Write 3 pages in my journal every day (to prevent emotional eating)
and lastly, this is not a goal related to my health but, I want to save half of everything that I make. I realize this will be hard with the amount of money I am making right now,but I think I can do it.

I am so ready for change. And I don't think I can do that by myself. I need support. I need people to hold me accountable. I need gentleness when I inevitably make mistakes, I need cheerleaders.


Please, if you read this, and you want to help me in some way, even in prayers, please do.
I need support.

In His name,

-Noelle